- wendy darling, part 1
posted on May 12, 2024
Should I sit here, grateful that for once I had you, even though I cry every day remembering how I wanted to be loved? Remembering the flowers I would never receive, the silly questions I would never hear, the hand that would never be held, the compliments I would never get, and many more wishes that for a moment became reality—only to vanish in the blink of an eye, to be revisited only in my dreams?
trying to tame a lightning posted on May 10, 2024
It feels like trying to tame a lightning. Something so brazen yet delicate, hostile yet intricate, a book you'd spend years studying for and yet you have not once truly understood it without skimming through the pages every time you're tested with a question; and that question often leaps out of yourself, in the middle of the night, wondering if everything is worth it.
- my life (or the lack thereof)
posted on Apr 14, 2024
Seriously, how do you live with this? How do you live knowing you have these scary thoughts in your head?
- a familiar tone
posted on Mar 6, 2024
i used to call out your name repeatedly and far along the way i thought it probably annoyed you. but i kept doing it again. and again. and again. but i called out your name in search of a familiar tone, that particular way you rolled your tongue murmuring an answer — a melody that can only be composed out of luck and pure happenstance.
- sense of home
posted on Mar 5, 2024
i don’t have a sense of home. what i have are merely wooded hollows and four walls thinly dusted with age — silent witnesses and accomplices to my tear-jerking crimes and light midnight screams. home to me is a room to myself, a secluded area that grants me solitude in which i can hear myself think.
- nothing — and every feeling that follows
posted on Dec 11, 2023
There’s a vacant space inside my heart that I don’t think can ever be filled. I cherish my quiet life, my dusty bookshelf, my dustier floors, and my quieter cellphone. No sense of accountability, no good morning texts, no “have you eaten yet?”, no sense of vague questions in a much more vivid relationship.
betrayal (and the lack of love behind) posted on Sep 16, 2023
will it hurt less if you knew from the start? or is pain incomparable when it's beyond measure?
- love is a losing game
posted on Jan 11, 2023
love is nothing but a yearned prelude to pain, like a moth to a flame, leading itself to its ultimate demise. as if I was one with the waves, seeking the shore only to hit the rocks and scatter everywhere.
